Insomnia Sucks!

My body is constantly fighting itself in many ways. Like when my body is hurting but my brain is bored, like when I exercise to stop my legs hurting, but exercising triggers a migraine, like when all of me is tired, but my brain won't let me sleep.

When my anxiety was uncontrolled, insomnia was a nightly occurrence for me - I'd get 2 - 3 hours of broken sleep a night. Now it affects me a lot less often; maybe 1 - 2 times a month. I feel all the usual sensations leading to 'sleep', so I get ready for bed. It normally takes me around half an hour to fall asleep once I'm in bed. With insomnia, I normally realise after an hour that my brain is still talking. She's chatting, and playing and singing (normally Under the Sea from the Little Mermaid). Yes I call her she.

It can be really isolating and lonely when everyone is asleep and you feel like it's just you. It doesn't help that a lot of people (doctors included) think that having insomnia is your fault. It's not true, and that thought can make it worse. It's most often a hormone imbalance, anxiety or stress.

When I first started experiencing it 7 years ago, it took a while to realise what it was. Then one night I realised I hadn't slept at all in 3 days; so I went to see a doctor. The doctor introduced me to 'sleep hygiene'. It became a frequently asked question from medical professionals 'have you heard of sleep hygiene?', 'have you tried sleep hygiene?'. YES, SUSAN! It became one of those phrases that you roll your eyes and try not to vomit in their faces when people say it.

If you don't know sleep hygiene is a set of rules or a ritual to follow leading up to sleep.

Establish a routine

Make a schedule

Create a healthy sleep environment

Limit caffeine

Exercise

Reduce stress

Avoid fatty foods

Avoid large meals

Turn of electronics

Keep your room cool and dark

Bed is only for sleep

Are you rolling your eyes yet?

I'm sure sleep hygiene must work for some people, and that's great. But when I've had insomnia for 2 years and it's not working, surely it's time to try something else.

I'd done all the sleep hygiene suggestions, doctors refused to try sleeping pills; we'd tried pain medications, which do not work for me at all. I was already on Sertraline for my anxiety and depression, but eventually a doctor said we should try upping the dose to see if it helped. It was incredible for my anxiety, not so much for sleep. So the doctor suggested taking it before bed instead of in the morning. Three days later, I had my first full night's sleep in years. My hormones were out of whack.

As well as the sleep hygiene checklist, i also tried somethings that worked on occasion-

Herbal tea

Supplements (like Kalms or Nytol)

Melatonin

Antihistamines

Have a medication review with a doctor

Seek help for mental health issues

Meditation

Get some comfy bedding

Have a bath

Lavender (fresh, dried, balm, oil)

Covering the clock

If you are struggling with insomnia, I want you to know that you are not alone. Yes it's horrible, but it'll take time to figure out what is causing it, and what works for you. If you haven't already, try some of the ideas here. If it's been more than a month, go and see your doctor. Oh and don't count the sheep or watch the clock, it does not help.